Yesterday I called computer operator to ask if my consignment was done..to my amazement he gave me cartloads of excuses. Not only computer operators but even students sign in for various hobby classes , attend two or three classes and then no show...... We also see students reaching late to school consistently till there is a punishment to rectify the behaviour......... People in general have a casual attitude towards work and the word given for work! There is no value for money- fees paid to the instructors, no value for the instructor's time and no value for their own word. There is no commitment in learning the particular dance/sport/activity.
So the question is- WHY IS THIS SO? HOW TO RAISE COMMITED CHILDREN?
Can we teach commitment?
I remember one incidence .Pammi was in standard one . The little girl had a concert in her school and she was participating in a small skit where she was acting as a tree. The concert was at 5pm and Pammi expressed her desire at about 3.30pm that she wants to bunk the concert. Her mother asked her the reason. She said she wanted to go to the birthday party of one of her friend in the neighbourhood. The idea was regurgitated by the mother and the father in the presence of the child. The mother said she should be going or else the teacher would get angry. The little girl looked cajolingly at her father and hugged him saying "papa please it's Ronny's birthday and his parents are treating all of us a MacD". Mother said ,"but we went to MacD just three days ago". The girl responded, "but all my friends will be there!". Mother,"what will you tell your teacher? She will be very angry, what about your costume?" Pammi,"papa please let me go to the party, I know you can write a nice leave note saying I am sick and the teacher will understand, I will not go to school tomorrow also so teacher will surely believe I was sick." Father to mother,"what say?". Mother to Pammi, "where did you get this idea from?" Pammi,"what mamma last time we went to Dolly aunty's wedding you told dad to write a leave note, we went to Ahmedabad and had so much fun! Teacher never came to know! Besides papa came for my school concert last year and got botmered, so why should I participate in a boring concert?" Father laughed and told the mother to grant it to her. So the girl bunked her concert and went to the birthday party.
Pammi did not show commitment , because her parents preached it not practiced it. Pammi's parents did not talk about accountability and dependability. They did not ask her - what will happen to your skit, who will be the tree? How will they manage without the tree character? They did'nt even ask her questions like- why did you participate when you did not want to perform? What about the rehearsals that you did with your friends? Will your teacher ever trust you in future? And so on.....
Will Pammi grow up to be a dependable and self disciplined individual?
Pammi's parents could have been a little firm with her and sent her to the concert instead of laughing when she said it was a boring concert. It is not one incidence that shapes or moulds the child behavior but a pattern of parenting decides it. Parents at times say negative things about the school and teachers in the presence of the child and expect the child to respect them or not respect them at all making them adamant children disrespecting school ,teachers and authority at large.
Lastly taking a leave for a family wedding explaining the right reasons would be a better idea so that children learn the right values and do not take advantage of situations later.
